How Are You?

2011-12-08T12:54:00.000-08:00

Have you ever gotten yourself through a point in life where you just suddenly feel so alone, lost and ultimately confused that you felt like you can just break down anytime into a fetal position and cry yourself to sleep.

Well it happened to me, even whilst being in the middle of a group of people around. Friends or family, i can barely notice their existence at that moment. Having so many people around you yet still finding yourself so so alone. I was just sitting there in a table full of people, lying dormantly in an empty shell i call myself a body.

I remembered a long time ago, ive been in this state before. Only it was different. I didnt have many friends, even if i have them, they were too occupied with themselves that i can barely hang out with them. So i used to spend a lot of time by myself. Sometimes in front of a computer, blogging. Just to distract myself from the pain of being so alone. I barely spent time thinking about myself, since i hardly recognize what was it that was wrong with my life. And even if i did know, i probably had no clue what to do with myself. What makes it harder is that i had no one i can rely on to be behind my back, to catch me when i fall.

You know whats weird? The fact that when you're so alone inside your head. Nobody can realize that. Your utterly horrible feeling of emptiness and loneliness. Because nobody can read your mind. And even if they do notice the state of depression you're in, they probably think its just a phase you're going through and yeah you'll probably be fine the next day. What they dont know is, that how much a simple random "How are you?" can make a huge difference to a person's day.

I guess its a good thing to have a boyfriend/girlfriend. Or at least just someone to ask you that question every single day to you, even when you dont need it today. I think those people who do ask that question to someone everyday are underrated. They deserve more credit than they are worth.

Sometimes its good to have someone like that in your life. Heck, i think everyone needs someone like that in their life. Someone that will be there for you every step of the day whether you asked for them or not. Someone who understands completely the position youre in, or at least someone who makes an effort to understand.

You know why i said that? Its because deep down humans crave for attention. Sometimes even without them realizing they need it. In fact, I believe a person can go completely insane if they are left without an attention long enough. Because attentions gives you the opposite feeling of lonesomeness. Attention gives you an illusion on the surface that someone out there cares about you. And when someone cares about you, they will be there for you every step of the way, physically or mentally to support your back, to ultimately catch you when you fall, when you cant stand on your own legs anymore. And thats why i think people need attention.

So how many How Are You's have you said today? :)

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How Are You?